i can't handle this any more. i always said what kept me going was graduating from school. for my parents. was it ever for myself? i loved going to rollins college. we all knew each other, the classmates and professors. they are so caring and nice. i don't know how to become attached to a new goal in life. i want to give up. it's hard to find a new purpose, ALONE. i mean, choosing a goal for myself. not for any one else. completing college was to make my parents proud and to prove to everyone i was smart.
i feel like puking. my nerves are shot. this is all too much for me to take.
i don't want a divorce from Nick.
i want us to work things out.
God, cradle me in your arms today, for despite all the strength i have gathered over these last few years, i am now so weak, and i let my weaknesses show. i recognize i have faults, and that i'm not perfect, and i show these to you and everyone else. i am falling, i have fallen.
God, you've always known the weaknesses of humans, you knew i would fall.
you have faith in us to get back up and be strong again.
it's just right now,
i need to shut my eyes and rest.
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